Job's Wife – Falsely Accused?
I have heard it too often: Job's first wife died. Alternatively: Job's first wife left/divorced him.
Job's wife did not die as a result of the Adversary testing her husband. There is no basis in scripture to think that she left him. She did not have a petty and bitter personality.
…and I am playing to win the argument.
The accusations against Job's wife are often Arguments from Silence, based on the absence of evidence. They go something like, if she was still with Job at the end then (a) Job would have prayed for her when he prayed for his friends, (b) she would have been mentioned in the restoration, after all, Job's daughters were named, or (c)
• Job's Wife is Often Mischaracterized as a Foolish Woman.
8Job took a piece of broken pottery with which to scrape himself, and he sat [down] among the ashes (rubbish heaps).
9Then his wife said to him, “Do you still cling to your integrity [and your faith and trust in God, without blaming Him]? Curse God and die!”
10But he said to her, “You speak as one of the [spiritually] foolish women speaks [ignorant and oblivious to God’s will]. Shall we indeed accept [only] good from God and not [also] accept adversity and disaster?” In [spite of] all this Job did not sin with [words from] his lips.
- Job 2:8-10 Amplified Bible
In this passage, Job calls his wife foolish for not discerning God's will, and it is easy to find devotionals and Bible study guides that take Job's word for it, ergo, his wife is foolish. But Job was not racking up extra discernment points either—turns out that he too was oblivious as to the source of his testing. He tells his wife they should accept adversity from God. He is ignorant of what the reader already learned in Chapter 1, that Satan is causing his troubles.
After losing seven children and all the household wealth in a day, Job's wife finally had a meltdown when she saw her husband sitting in ashes and scraping his boils. If we are going to accept Arguments from Silence at all, then this is one of the rare places that might actually apply: Notice that she did not accuse her husband of sin, as his friends would be doing. She blamed God. Blaming God shows that at some level, she was aware of spiritual warfare. She was "foolish" only because she had not correctly discerned what spirit was attacking them; it was satan, not God. Of course, Job was also cuckolded and could not help her with that.
• The Bad Breath Argument
13“He has put my brothers far from me,
And my acquaintances are completely estranged from me.
14“My relatives have failed [me],
And my intimate friends have forgotten me.
15“Those who live [temporarily] in my house and my maids consider me a stranger;
I am a foreigner in their sight.
16“I call to my servant, but he does not answer;
I have to implore him with words.
17“My breath is repulsive to my wife,
And I am loathsome to my own brothers.
18“Even young children despise me;
When I get up, they speak against me.
19“All the men of my council hate me;
Those I love have turned against me.
20“My bone clings to my skin and to my flesh,
And I have escaped [death] by the skin of my teeth.
21“Have pity on me! Have pity on me, O you my friends,
For the hand of God has touched me.
22“Why do you persecute me as God does?
Why are you not satisfied with my flesh (anguish)?
- Job 19:13-22 Amplified Bible
This passage comprises a long list of people by whom Job feels abandoned. Verses 13 through 16 are about alienation: brothers (biological brothers) are far, acquaintances are estranged, relatives have stopped coming by, close friends have forgotten, maidservants consider him a stranger or foreigner, and his other servants will not answer him, even when he begs. When he mentions his wife, her offense is being repulsed by his halitosis. The list continues: his brothers (cousins) find him loathsome, children despise him, and the men he once trusted for advice hate him. Amid all the abhorrence and desertion, his wife's big issue is bad breath (exhalation)? Really? She is never accused of being mad that she is now a pauper's wife.
Devotionals that call Job's wife "petty" for finding his breath offensive fail to recognize the spiritual aspects of Job's attack. Obviously she did not set out to abandon him; she got close enough to smell his breath. She was driven off by the stench. Foul odors go right along with foul spirits at work. This was not his wife's action toward him as much as it was her reaction to the demonic. It was caused by Job's Adversary who wanted to deny Job his wife, just as he had already taken Job's flocks (his ability to make sacrifices) and his children (Job's fruit).
• Covenant Stronger Than Satan
So why could Satan only drive Job's wife back as far as smelling-distance? Why didn't he kill her? He surely would have desired to. It is because the marriage covenant is strong enough to withstand the adversary. From the beginning, Genesis 2:24, "a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." This is also reaffirmed in the New Testament, cf Mark 10. Remember that in the second round of Job's testing, the Lord had laid out this ground rule, "So the LORD said to Satan, 'Behold, he is in your hand, only spare his life,' Job 2:6." They were one flesh. Satan could not take the life of Job's wife as long as she remained in covenant.
• How We Know
The Bible provides additional (beyond the fact that her life was preserved) evidence that Job and his wife remained faithful in their marriage covenant. This is found in Chapter 31 (notably the same number as Proverb's chapter on the virtuous woman). In this chapter Job is making what will be his final appeal, and he is using covenant language. Among the arguments he makes is the defense of his marriage. Some have tried to make verse 10 into a curse rather than a defense:
Let my wife grind [meal, like a bond slave] for another [man], And let others kneel down over her, Job 31:10.
When read from the perspective of an ANE (Ancient Near East) culture, this verse is not wishing harm on his wife. Rather, Job is using a curse to demonstrate how serious he is. We see this other places in the Bible where a person will swear to his own hurt. The surrounding verses show that his meaning here is to reinforce his faithfulness to his wife; "If I was unfaithful, God would be justified in giving her to another man. But I was not. "
• The Other Implications
At this point, Job is making his final appeal before God steps in, makes His longest speech in the entire Bible, and begins Job's restoration. Job's wife would still be around and faithful at this point or Job's willingness to curse himself would have been moot.
Those who try to build a case that Job's wife must have left him or died because he did not pray for her when he prayed for his friends have missed a major point. In Chapter 42:7, the Lord begins speaking to Eliphaz the Temanite, "My wrath is kindled against you and your two friends. For you have not spoken about Me accurately, as My servant Job has. 8So now, take seven bulls and seven rams, go to My servant Job, and sacrifice a burnt offering for yourselves. Then My servant Job will pray for you, for I will accept his prayer and not deal with you according to your folly. For you have not spoken accurately about Me…" Verse 10 is among the most beautiful of all verses: "And the LORD restored the fortunes of Job, when he had prayed for his friends…"
Making an Argument from Silence that speculates Job did not pray for his wife because she was not there is hollow and empty. If any Argument from Silence can be made, it would be the one that Job did not pray for his wife because God was not mad at her! On Job's second trial, she had a temporary meltdown. Give her a break! Apparently the Lord did. She could not deal with the stench of Job's breath because she did not know its real source, and because Jesus had not yet spoken, "Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you." The Lord did not blame her for that one either. She was not held accountable for ignorance. The others were held accountable for presumption.
It is not a sin to be distraught when Satan is actively attacking a family member. Even under extreme duress she did not blame Job. It is not a sin to retreat to a safer distance when Satan is trying to overpower your senses. Backing off is not the same as leaving for good. Nothing in scripture indicates she died between Job's dissertation in Chapter 31 and his restoration in Chapter 42.
Job's wife has gotten a bad rap.
